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Elmo you BASTARD

All > "Art" > Photography > Narratives > Elmo you BASTARD by sirsmelly

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Warning: Photo shoots with Elmo can be hazardous to your health and the health of those around you. Side effects may include but not limited to. Large amounts of blood outside the body, speeding, Biohazardous waste materials left on hall floors, laughing, tons of pictures taken, humiliation, pointing due to bandages, being up past your normal bed time, craving for spaghetti at 2:08am, hospital bills, nauseated, flirting with secretary, losing chapstick, and new Cre.ations!

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Here we are on our way to the hospital, notice the fire department hat. I was the first emt on scene. Needless to say we needed to transport and all I had was my amazing bug. Lucky for his finger I don't have heat, and a cold breeze is just what it needed.

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See my handy work with that bandage. I descided to go with blue because I wanted him to feel like a man. Even though he was crying like a little girl. ( that might be an exagaration of the truth, but he did say ouch )

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After lots and lots of tests the Emergency Room doctors were able to come up with a blood pressure. And we think that the finger might be able to be saved.

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NOOOOO.. I spent about 3.74 seconds of my life putting that on. It's perfect, beautiful, so blue, and so very striaght. Why oh WHY would your ruin that.

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Ah, the first look. I think he might have nicked something.

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Here is where in his head he's screaming.. oooooooouch it stings.

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Meet my room mate Jeff. 6' 145lb single and looking. (LADIES) Look at this man, his finger is holding on by threads of skin and his pain level is at WHAT!!! No pain, that can only mean one thing. He's a good listener, loves to do laundry, dishes (when he has all his fingers), long walks on the beach, showering you with gifts, and all that with a smile. This is my room mate Jeff, and his story about how Elmo ruined his night.

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Personally I don't think the doc. did as good a job wrapping it up as I did. BUT who am I to make those kind of judgements.

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It doesn't hurt so much here, or here, but mainly right HERE!

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Ummmmmmm.. why are you constructing a huge needle?? you're... you're.... you're .. not going to.....

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AHHHH yeah you did... NOO

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MOMMY

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you could have atleast said "Little Poke" rather than jamming that crowbar into my deep flesh wound.

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Thanks.. stab him then spray it with water, might as well flush it out with tears.

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His finger looks really weird here, I like to imagine he's one of those wax guys in the museum's and this is what it would look like if you attacked them with a knife cause we all know they are really alive.

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His blood goes.. drip drip drip DROP.

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Time to get serious

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Lets spread this cut REALLY wide then stick somthing in it. Not my idea of fun..

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I'm soo sad this is out of focus.. but he didn't wanna do it again. pfffft.. I've had worse paper cuts.

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Lets just tie this thing up and go home...

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Oh, I know how to fix this.. lets tie some thread around a fishing hook and just stick it though his finger. That should help.

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AHHHHHH OOUCH the numbness didn't go out that far. HE FELT that one.

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I asked the doc. if he could tie a Big toe on instead of the index finger. Cause everyone know's they think it'd be cool to have a big toe for an index finger.

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Not going to lie.. at the end of this little surgery one of those scissors was missing, we think Jeff might be the new Edward Scissor Hands.

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH you dumbass.

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Here let me give you some snot out of my nose to make you feel better.

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This thing was sweet.. It is Gauze and you put it on really tight twist the end and do that over and over. There is a metal sheeth that the gauze is around. Worked pretty well.

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RESPECT his massive finger. Or he will send elmo in your Direction.

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It wouldn't be the hospital with out at least a little paper work

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He lost alot of blood, I don't know if he can make it to the car, but I'm not going to lose another room mate to that damn elmo..

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Jeff and I had the last laugh.. TAKE THAT ELMO!!

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